Recently I came across an article in one of the latest gossip magazines about Ellen DeGeneres and how she uses an alter ego to help her when she’s in a situation that’s new or uncomfortable. This alter ego will say and do things that she herself would never do. If things don’t work out it’s the alter ego’s fault. The article explained a step-by-step way on how to create an alter ego to help you when you need more confidence and courage, or just someone to blame when things don’t go well. First you have to make up a name and create a back story with lots of details for your alter ego’s life. As I was reading this article a light bulb popped on in my head. After years of struggling with my weight I now realized that my poor eating habits and lack of exercising are not my fault. I’ve got an alter ego. Actually I have at least two.
First I’d like you to meet “Healthy Hannah.” Hannah is a bit of a know it all. She’s very smart about health and agrees with all the advice my doctor gives me. She’s at her ideal body weight, her blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect. She works out at least 30 minutes EVERY day, and eats only good for you foods. Hannah pops into my head when I go to the Grocery Store and steers me towards the foods that are full of Whole Grains, lean proteins and the entire produce department. She likes to remind me constantly that I should be eating better and exercising. I find her quite annoying at times. Well, at least I always thought it was me who found her annoying when in actuality it was another of my alters, “Wide-Ass Wanda” who can’t stomach her.
Wide-Ass is a strong woman, about 6 foot tall and weighing about 250 pounds. When Wanda wants cake, chocolate, of any kind, large tubs of buttered Popcorn at the movies, or any other number of fattening, delicious, bad-for-you foods there’s no stopping her. Wanda can’t go past a Starbucks without getting a Café Mocha with Whipped Cream. At the Grocery Store, she makes me go into the aromatic Bakery department, down the candy isle, and always to the Ice Cream freezers. Wanda is always very excited when the Holidays are coming. She loves Halloween Candy, Thanksgiving Over-stuffing, and Christmas Cookies, Candies and Sweets. I try to fight her and can always hear Hannah, “tsk-tsk” at me when I let Wanda take over and influence me to buy and eat all the foods that I swear I’m not going to touch anymore. I try to tell Hannah, “It’s not me, it’s Wanda. Help Me!!”
OK, this is sounding a little crazy now and I’m not really a nut case, I promise. But all of my readers who are constantly fighting with their weight will agree it would be great if we could just blame it on someone else. I’m going to try to be more like a Healthy Hannah from now on and keep Wide-Ass Wanda under control. I’m gonna try, if not right now than right after Valentines Day.
